Thursday, October 02, 2008
‘Bonney, get in here’ Mr Scullard bellowed from his office. Sophie threw me a sympathetic ‘good luck’ kind of shrug and I could tell, even from the back of Brashmans head he was grinning, even the back of his hair looked smug.
I entered Scullards lair, politely knocking first
‘Come in’ he grunted, barely looking up over his half moon spectacles that looked frankly ridiculous soaked up in his walrus like face. He was sat all fat and pompous behind his mahogany veneer desk completely swamping the leather ‘executives’ desk chair from Ikea with his pin striped enormous behind. He was staring down at some papers and wouldn’t have looked out of place with an apple wedged in his mouth.
‘There’s a complaint Bonney, and your going to have to put your very best grovelling trousers on to get out of the mess.’ He said, removing the spectacles so they hung on their string round his neck (a thing I have always hated) ‘Your article about the gay couple caught organising the dogging down on the common, you remember it?’
‘Yes’ I said with some surprise I remember it, it was a hit, they even had a parking plan with ‘gay and display’ tickets we received a endless influx of letters supporting us calling for the dirty bastards to be castrated to quote just one of the many supportive letters, I blew the thing wide open’
‘Yes well that’s as maybe but you used a photograph of Councillors Deegan and McKenzie in the article that should have been for the County Fields clean up scheme and now they want you blown wide open.’ His voice seething and struggling not to explode. I could see the famous vein throbbing in Scullards temple.‘ They have been unable to leave their homes for a fortnight and Councillor Deegan apparently can’t wash the excrement off the doors and windows as fast as it is appearing! We need an apology a good one and fast! I am getting to the end of my tether with you Bonney; you’re a complete and utter turd. Now get out of my sight.’ On the whole it went pretty well.
